Random Ramble

Almost two weeks since my last blog. One would think I stayed away accomplishing difficult feats such as saving the world, or at the very least myself. No such luck. Been running around trying to get back into Uni...done. At this point I would like to take this opportunity to stop and say Alhamdulillah to The Most Merciful, as usual He has come thru for me. I would also like to thank abo for nagging me about not having lofty ideals on the virtues of higher learning. Daddy, I believe! I will get back in school even if it kills me! So am due back on the 3rd of Sept, Lord have mercy! A couple of months ago, I wouldve been depressed about returning to student life but I think am actually looking forward to awakening my brain, God knows its been on an extended sabbatical for too long! Hello, have I gone and grown up finally? I know ive been pathetic and I swear I shall clean up my mind, what a clutter its been.

What else have I accomplished? Umm lets see...he he thats it. Just been living life. Tried to pay back my qalla for last ramadhan and its been hard at best. I think I have a crater in my tummy, it hurts so! And i dont even wanna think about how many days I got left coz i might actually start to sob. See fool that I am, I went globe trotting last year and me being a msafir, I took advantage of that and didnt fast the last week of the month? Mostly cos, well msafiri kafiri and also sunshine here didnt know which day was what and dont even ask me about the time and jet lag and bloody time zones. One day I was in Africa, the next in Asia and before I knew it it was hello dreary , boring and grey London of all the cities in Europe to find urself in !

Make no mistake, I had a ball. Well cept for London, the place is too bloody cold and does it always drizzle like that? Its just grey and all the buildings look the same and loads of weirdos on the undergound. The people are cold and their food is lousy! The rest of the trip I was grinning like a lunatic and I had to stop myself from giggling insanely. Felt like a kid let loose in a candy shop without an audience! At one point in the plane, I found myself with my hands on the window, gawking audibly at the sight of Dubai Int'l airport. No offense to the good people out there but those arabs at Dubai Airport were horrible! Lemme digress here and say the men be gorgeous! But alas, they do not behave like muslims. We were about a dozen muslims ( half in hijab!)lined up at their passport control desks, and at maghrib when the muadhin did his thing, those bastards broke their fast there and then and offered us NOTHING! while we stood there wondering what to eat, what to eat? Subhanallah, dont these people fear Allah swt? Dont they even wanna earn marks for feeding a poor msafir at iftar?! In Kenya, aint no way that would happen to you within sight of a fellow Muslim! So yeah I hated them but I loved their country, and I intend to visit again, so bully for them! Thats it, abo I found my passion. I wanna travel for the rest of my days.

I gotta pen off now. Am sure I'll have more to tell after the weekend. Lets just say exciting possibilities abound but I dont wanna jinx it by telling all about it in advance. Yeah thats how things backfire; anticipation and speculation. What, excited? Who, me? Nah! My mind is blank and I got no expectations other than to beat the crap out of mundane! Kheir InshAllah

Lets kill all the Politicians!

If you are a kenyan, you know that its that time of the half decade again, when little makes sense, kenyans in remote areas suddenly cant live in peace and would rather slaughter each other, if you work in the govt there is a sudden need to blow your budget on unnecessary purchases, politically correct kenyans are employed in hitherto overstaffed parastatals, alliances are made and faster than you can say pamoja, they are abandoned;yep its election time. nothing more entertaining than such a year in Kenya. You will be treated to events more engaging than a mexican soap. The cast is complete with a leading lady (Lucy, wambui, ngilu or Naslim, take your pick) and man (one emilio kibaki, jokestar no.1; raila o, anyone?) , and of course numerous village idiots. only problem, 100% of the cast are villains; so you dont get treated to a game of whodunit, no. the plot is cheap, the lines lame and the actors tired, washed out and third-rate. this is def a no/low budget movie. the herculean fete for kenyans: which of the presidential aspirants is less likely to be lucifer, really? welcome to our version of Russian Roullette.

The scenario is typical:- just before elections, there is a frenzy to pass what can best be described as suspicious bills as law, binding to the ever-bewildered and much-vexed tax paying mwananchi. the reason the bills are passed? to secure the interests, present and future, of the MPs. if it wasnt such an atrocity, i would say its comical, the rest of the life of parliament these bozos languished in abject inactivity, there was never enough quorom to pass much needed bills but suddenly lo and behold, the fat boys are ready to stop napping and serve their duty as law makers. the usual incentives of course are to pave the way for the astronomical increment in the MPs allowances, tip the scales in favour of the current govt, make biz a little easier and cheaper for the fat cats and cowboys masquerading as bizmen, etc. Man these wabunge can be so efficient yaani. wish they would spread that energy into developing this country; make the country safe for us, fix the damn roads, ensure there is water and elec,reduce the taxes, you know?

apparently in '63 when we got our independence, we were expected to develop at the same pace as malaysia. bwana, has anyone fallen off their seat in laughter yet? and i know we could have. the rest of us are hardworking. (tho we offer no guarantees if elected to parliament)! Ok guys, the race is on : malaysia vs kenya. hang on, i think we kenyans will squat and shit first, anybody impressed? malaysia huyo!

methinks the recent attempt to sneak in the media bill is to allow the govt to behave badly in the prelude to and during the elections. the journalists have been doing too good a job in telling it like it is. kanu raped and plundered this country coz they had almost 40 yrs to do that but i find this govt more scary, they seem to wanna achieve the same in a fraction of that time. y should they be more scary? for one they are more educated and more cunning and they went to the corruptor's University equivalent of Harvard (kanu). Lagabarta lagabadiya,no?

who was it that said this gava is like a husband who provides for his wife (bare minimim, mind), pays the bills but is never there, gets upto all sorts of naughty things and expects the wife never to question him. arent you fed and clothed? then ask me no questions, bitch. its not all for nothing. the sudden IPOs to sell public corporations, yeah we like to think its to promote efficiency in service delivery, but have you ever seen the ownership of these corporations? scary, man. you gotta hand it to these guys, they are brilliant. by the time kenyans know the extent of the damage, these guys will be long gone and the proud owners of the most of our economy and several off shore accounts. Switzerland, here we come, they will sing!

sigh, its all so depressing. my fellow kenyans, i do believe God has a plan for us. i think we mighta been chosen to be the sub-saharan regional superpower but we would rather be a circus. i for one will def vote for change. smthg new, smthg untried. i figure if we have a high turn over of govts, these idiots will see how serious we are and stop messing with their employers! on that note, i was happy to learn that 90% of these clowns will not be voted back in. Hurray, wanjiku scores! warriyada you jokers of North Eastern, we are not impressed. what do you have to show for these five years? i hear they are hiring clowns over yonder.apparently these buggers bought off the good, educated and unsoiled youth we talked into running this year as NFD MPs. the mad mullah again no doubt! these wazees, they gotta go!

lets see how this one goes, shall we. no matter what though. we kenyans are easy and peace loving and shall not be cajoled, provoked or forced into violence. we always teether on the brink but we never fall. so the media houses, would you quit with the rwandan genocide stories already, jeez man we get it. that road is not for us. what r u doing, giving the politicians ideas???