Quest for Inspiration

Have You Ever....?

2008-04-19T11:40:00.003+03:00

1. Had your heart so full of emotion, the words just tumbled out and you made a total ass of ur sorry self?

2. Regretted reneging on a good decision you had made? Regretted regretting your decision, so to speak?

3. Felt utterly alone in pain, confusion and border-line psychosis?

4. Cried like a baby while u were in sujjud, asking Him please, help me, why wont You help me?

5. Been rescued from the abyss by Allah swt just when you thought you had lost everything that was ever good in you?

6. Realised that most emotions, especially passionate ones (anger, love, pride) are over-rated and can ruin people and whatever relationship they have?

7. Seen the utmost truth in hitherto seemingly cliched expressions?

8. Felt like you are the minority in this world where most people value wealth (at all/any cost), despise kindness and mistake generosity for foolishness?

9. Thought that showing emotion was a sign of weakness only to learn that it takes a lot of strength and courage?

10. Known that the shoulda woulda coulda game is the road trip to hell and shaitan it's tour guide?

11. Learned that you set your soul free by undoing any hurt you caused someone even if they hurt you instead, because the guilt and unease you leave them to carry was such a heavy load for you to bear?

12. Stood in prayer and felt peaceful coz you realised you were priviledged because He is on your side?

Wanjiku Rules! NOT!!!!!!!

2008-01-24T14:20:00.000+03:00

Wrote this on 7th Jan this year but just got round to posting it.

It’s amazing how drastically life can change in just one week. Subhanallah it feels more like a couple of months instead of seven days since the results for elections were announced. Man I stood in line for 5 hours to exercise my democratic right, yeah phooey. WTF I might as well have stayed home and done me nails. Anywho we shouldn’t have been so surprised or felt so betrayed. Coz moi has been doing this to us since we went multiparty hasn’t he? Only he was more adept at cheating, we never had unequivocal proof of the same, it wasn’t this "in your face what u gon do bout it/ we don’t know how the hell to do this it isn’t very pretty, so sue us" drama.
It was a well-aimed kick in the back side and a bitter reminder that we are still living in a third world country, a frigging banana republic, so help us God. After the results were announced on the 30th, we were so scared we couldnt even LEAVE the house for 5 days. We didnt even know the new year had arrived. All we kept hearing was gunshots throughout the night, the police in the slums doing their thing I guess and billows of flames and black smoke. For 5 days strait.

Man I wonder how many innocent Kenyans died as a result. Am sure the figures we have are oh so conservative and very convenient for a government that isn’t the people’s choice. I wish people would remember that killing your neighbour, as broke ass as yourself will not move those that are in power. Its not about tribe, its never been. Its about the greedy exploiting the poor, looking out for themselves at our expense, waving the tribal card to divide people just as its been since the beginning of time. And the ones who celebrated coz their kinsmen had cheated their way back into power, shame on you! To the high and mighty all you are gonna be when you are slaughtered is collateral damage and dont you ever forget it! As a wise person said, we may not know for sure who won, but what we know is that Kenya lost. We were set back some 20 years, our hopes in the furture were dashed and we have never been so divided in our history as we are now. There's now so much mistrust and tension between us all, based on who must have voted for whom, surely! A democracy, I think not! Did we think Moi was gonna plunge us into civil strife? His was child's play. He taught his protegees well. And we are the ones to pay the price.

List of shame…. he knows hisself the one that takes the cake, he has shamed himself and our country. Number two would go to Kivuitu the jackass, and to think I respected him all these years. Yeah that was a shocker. I wonder if he was threatened with the untold torture of his family. For his sake I hope so. Hope he didn’t sell his country and the future of his grandchildren for a paltry or even substantial sum. I can definitely see the rattle of the snake in this here fiasco. Number three…the arrogant Ali. They had to go and appoint an obstinate, bloodthirsty Somali to such a position. Do you sleep at night, warya nacas yahow?

It left a very bitter taste in our mouths. So many immediate and long term plans had to be reviewed. If you were one of the unfortunate patriots who relocated home coz you believed your country was moving along towards economic, social and political reform, am sure you had a rude awakening. Does anyone feel like they were betrayed? Anyone feel like they would gladly pursue their education and careers abroad? Of course you gotta have the money to actually give in to this sudden urge. Must be why there hasn't been a mass exodus of Kenyans. We are stuck here, the only ally we all have, each one of us, and all we need really, Allah swt; all we can do is pray to Him for peace, justice and mercy. Kheir InshAllah.

On the bright side we did manage to vote out most of the losers in the 9th parliament, wanjiku rules!!!!!!!! Sometimes, a.l. 20 cabinet ministers out on their sorry backsides, including the Vice President. Now, that was a mass exodus in a class of its own!Ha ha ha. Sayanora, suckers!

The Fruits of Knowledge

2007-10-17T13:11:00.000+03:00

Minal caidin everybody!

This ramadhan, unlike the last one, I do believe i partook in the virtues and blessings that the Holy Month has to offer. For starters, I read loads of Quran, prayed tarraweh and tahajjud, may Allah (SWT) accept our Ibadah, Saum and the duas we made, Amin.
I also learned a lot! About our ummah, my deen, creation and the Prophets peace be upon them all. The fruits of knowledge is the fear of Allah (swt). You might not know much, but if the little you do grasp causes you to reflect and improve who you are, then you've reaped them. Thats why its important to always seek knowledge.

Here's two interesting tidbits: All of us know that whenever a Muslim sneezes and says Alahamdulillah (praise Allah), you should say to him YarhamkAllah, which means Allah’s mercy on you. Ok, how many of us know that the first such exchange was between Nabbi Adam (A.S) and none other than Allah (SWT)? When Allah (swt) blew the Ruux into Adam, he sneezed.
Our father sneezed and our Creator, Lord of all That Exists, proclaimed His mercy on him, and all of us by default. So now you know- Never despair of the mercy of Allah. He is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim and he has promised us maghfira if we would only seek it.

That the stories of the Nabiis are narrated in the Quran so that we may reflect upon them and learn lessons from them for use in our own lives. For example, am sure everyone knows the story of Prophet Yussuf (A.S) and Zuleikha the wife of a very high ranking Government official. Yeah the woman fancied Yussuf rotten, he was mighty fly and a gentleman to boot. What I didn’t know was that he feared he might weaken and fall into sin and he made a Dua to Allah (SWT) to protect him from the effects of lust and deliver him from this situation. Zuleikha was rich, beautiful and well-connected, it couldn’t have been easy to say no to her, but Yussuf did. For the brothers out there, be informed that there’s nothing more irresistible than a gorgeous brother who fears Allah (SWT). So, for all of you who have had to grapple with the tuggings of a treacherous heart or body for that matter, read Surah Yussuf (16), the dua is in the 33rd aya. The Prophet (SAW) said that this surah will comfort anyone who is afflicted with hardship and sorrow.

I thought it was all hope-inspiring. The youth normally feel no one can identify with their problems but the thought that Prophets experienced such things proves that a) we are not as wicked as we fear, just human really and there's nothing unique about our world, the same issues existed in the past, apparently its all been done before, all the mtixan and macsiya (is that how u spell general disobedience?).Whats important, however, is how we react to all the temptations out there. b) there is always a solution and if your intention is to earn His favour, then be patient and steadfast and ask for His help and Allah (swt) will provide you with solutions to whatever it is that's ailing your mind or body.

There's plenty more but am soooo lazy I think I'll spill some more next time inshAllah. So what did you learn this Ramadhan? * Looks expectantly at her audience of none* Ciao

Random Ramble

2007-08-23T11:26:00.000+03:00

Almost two weeks since my last blog. One would think I stayed away accomplishing difficult feats such as saving the world, or at the very least myself. No such luck. Been running around trying to get back into Uni...done. At this point I would like to take this opportunity to stop and say Alhamdulillah to The Most Merciful, as usual He has come thru for me. I would also like to thank abo for nagging me about not having lofty ideals on the virtues of higher learning. Daddy, I believe! I will get back in school even if it kills me! So am due back on the 3rd of Sept, Lord have mercy! A couple of months ago, I wouldve been depressed about returning to student life but I think am actually looking forward to awakening my brain, God knows its been on an extended sabbatical for too long! Hello, have I gone and grown up finally? I know ive been pathetic and I swear I shall clean up my mind, what a clutter its been.

What else have I accomplished? Umm lets see...he he thats it. Just been living life. Tried to pay back my qalla for last ramadhan and its been hard at best. I think I have a crater in my tummy, it hurts so! And i dont even wanna think about how many days I got left coz i might actually start to sob. See fool that I am, I went globe trotting last year and me being a msafir, I took advantage of that and didnt fast the last week of the month? Mostly cos, well msafiri kafiri and also sunshine here didnt know which day was what and dont even ask me about the time and jet lag and bloody time zones. One day I was in Africa, the next in Asia and before I knew it it was hello dreary , boring and grey London of all the cities in Europe to find urself in !

Make no mistake, I had a ball. Well cept for London, the place is too bloody cold and does it always drizzle like that? Its just grey and all the buildings look the same and loads of weirdos on the undergound. The people are cold and their food is lousy! The rest of the trip I was grinning like a lunatic and I had to stop myself from giggling insanely. Felt like a kid let loose in a candy shop without an audience! At one point in the plane, I found myself with my hands on the window, gawking audibly at the sight of Dubai Int'l airport. No offense to the good people out there but those arabs at Dubai Airport were horrible! Lemme digress here and say the men be gorgeous! But alas, they do not behave like muslims. We were about a dozen muslims ( half in hijab!)lined up at their passport control desks, and at maghrib when the muadhin did his thing, those bastards broke their fast there and then and offered us NOTHING! while we stood there wondering what to eat, what to eat? Subhanallah, dont these people fear Allah swt? Dont they even wanna earn marks for feeding a poor msafir at iftar?! In Kenya, aint no way that would happen to you within sight of a fellow Muslim! So yeah I hated them but I loved their country, and I intend to visit again, so bully for them! Thats it, abo I found my passion. I wanna travel for the rest of my days.

I gotta pen off now. Am sure I'll have more to tell after the weekend. Lets just say exciting possibilities abound but I dont wanna jinx it by telling all about it in advance. Yeah thats how things backfire; anticipation and speculation. What, excited? Who, me? Nah! My mind is blank and I got no expectations other than to beat the crap out of mundane! Kheir InshAllah

Lets kill all the Politicians!

2007-08-10T15:52:00.000+03:00

If you are a kenyan, you know that its that time of the half decade again, when little makes sense, kenyans in remote areas suddenly cant live in peace and would rather slaughter each other, if you work in the govt there is a sudden need to blow your budget on unnecessary purchases, politically correct kenyans are employed in hitherto overstaffed parastatals, alliances are made and faster than you can say pamoja, they are abandoned;yep its election time. nothing more entertaining than such a year in Kenya. You will be treated to events more engaging than a mexican soap. The cast is complete with a leading lady (Lucy, wambui, ngilu or Naslim, take your pick) and man (one emilio kibaki, jokestar no.1; raila o, anyone?) , and of course numerous village idiots. only problem, 100% of the cast are villains; so you dont get treated to a game of whodunit, no. the plot is cheap, the lines lame and the actors tired, washed out and third-rate. this is def a no/low budget movie. the herculean fete for kenyans: which of the presidential aspirants is less likely to be lucifer, really? welcome to our version of Russian Roullette.

The scenario is typical:- just before elections, there is a frenzy to pass what can best be described as suspicious bills as law, binding to the ever-bewildered and much-vexed tax paying mwananchi. the reason the bills are passed? to secure the interests, present and future, of the MPs. if it wasnt such an atrocity, i would say its comical, the rest of the life of parliament these bozos languished in abject inactivity, there was never enough quorom to pass much needed bills but suddenly lo and behold, the fat boys are ready to stop napping and serve their duty as law makers. the usual incentives of course are to pave the way for the astronomical increment in the MPs allowances, tip the scales in favour of the current govt, make biz a little easier and cheaper for the fat cats and cowboys masquerading as bizmen, etc. Man these wabunge can be so efficient yaani. wish they would spread that energy into developing this country; make the country safe for us, fix the damn roads, ensure there is water and elec,reduce the taxes, you know?

apparently in '63 when we got our independence, we were expected to develop at the same pace as malaysia. bwana, has anyone fallen off their seat in laughter yet? and i know we could have. the rest of us are hardworking. (tho we offer no guarantees if elected to parliament)! Ok guys, the race is on : malaysia vs kenya. hang on, i think we kenyans will squat and shit first, anybody impressed? malaysia huyo!

methinks the recent attempt to sneak in the media bill is to allow the govt to behave badly in the prelude to and during the elections. the journalists have been doing too good a job in telling it like it is. kanu raped and plundered this country coz they had almost 40 yrs to do that but i find this govt more scary, they seem to wanna achieve the same in a fraction of that time. y should they be more scary? for one they are more educated and more cunning and they went to the corruptor's University equivalent of Harvard (kanu). Lagabarta lagabadiya,no?

who was it that said this gava is like a husband who provides for his wife (bare minimim, mind), pays the bills but is never there, gets upto all sorts of naughty things and expects the wife never to question him. arent you fed and clothed? then ask me no questions, bitch. its not all for nothing. the sudden IPOs to sell public corporations, yeah we like to think its to promote efficiency in service delivery, but have you ever seen the ownership of these corporations? scary, man. you gotta hand it to these guys, they are brilliant. by the time kenyans know the extent of the damage, these guys will be long gone and the proud owners of the most of our economy and several off shore accounts. Switzerland, here we come, they will sing!

sigh, its all so depressing. my fellow kenyans, i do believe God has a plan for us. i think we mighta been chosen to be the sub-saharan regional superpower but we would rather be a circus. i for one will def vote for change. smthg new, smthg untried. i figure if we have a high turn over of govts, these idiots will see how serious we are and stop messing with their employers! on that note, i was happy to learn that 90% of these clowns will not be voted back in. Hurray, wanjiku scores! warriyada you jokers of North Eastern, we are not impressed. what do you have to show for these five years? i hear they are hiring clowns over yonder.apparently these buggers bought off the good, educated and unsoiled youth we talked into running this year as NFD MPs. the mad mullah again no doubt! these wazees, they gotta go!

lets see how this one goes, shall we. no matter what though. we kenyans are easy and peace loving and shall not be cajoled, provoked or forced into violence. we always teether on the brink but we never fall. so the media houses, would you quit with the rwandan genocide stories already, jeez man we get it. that road is not for us. what r u doing, giving the politicians ideas???

Goodbye, Nomadic Pollyanna

2007-07-19T09:31:00.000+03:00

been thinking, dangerous passtime that. i think its time i had me some babies. its not like am in a panic or i can hear the clock ticking away or anything like that. its just that ever since i can remember ive had this dream of me and a beautiful little gal, in a mansion with a pool, the whole nine yards yaani. dont ask me where her pops was coz in the dream he either doesnt feature at all or when he does me and him dont even talk; am always standing aside watching him with her or he's watching me and her. hmmm... seems i mighta married him, aint no way i'd have a baby out of wedlock (see mom i didnt turn out so bad afterall, there's a shocker!) anyway seems we got married then divorced or maybe we are still married but putting up appearances? for such a long time i've wanted to do the picket fences thing; marry some dude who was crazy about me and vice versa.(then i learned that such relationships get messy) then it was any nice guy who cares about me (no guarantees there either). now am just tired of meeting all the different kinds of jerks this country has to offer. i almost sigh audibly whenever a guy asks for my number nowadays. its bloody exhausting. same shit, different jerk, over and over again.so this is where i am finally. from the perfectionist who wanted nothing but the best, the perfect family to this realist who just wants a baby, if it works out with the dad, Alhamdulillah, if it doesnt no major loss...well maybe to the little gal.poor thing. five years ago, i would have thought cest impossible. not me, never. yeah, guess the rose tinted glasses are finally off. just coz you've been on the straight and narrow all your life, it doesnt mean you dont get to be thrown some tricky curve balls.

Ha ha

2007-07-17T16:10:00.000+03:00

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
* KINDERGARTEN TEACHER : To get to the other side.
* PLATO : For the greater good.
* ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
* KARL MARX : It was a historical inevitability.
* SADDAM HUSSEIN : This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we werejustified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
* RONALD REAGAN : I forget.
* CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK : To boldly go where no chicken has gonebefore.
* MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR : ... I envision a world where all chickens willbe free to cross roads without having their motives being called intoquestion.
* MACHIAVELLI : The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Whocares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive therewas.
* JERRY SEINFELD : Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn'tanyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doingwalking around all over the place, anyway?"* FREUD : The fact that you are at all concerned that the chickencrossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
* GEORGE W. BUSH (2) : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the roador not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is nomiddle ground here.
* OLIVER STONE : The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross theroad?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
* DARWIN : Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturallyselected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed tocross roads.
* EINSTEIN : Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road movedbeneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
* BUDDHA : Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
* ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die. In the rain.
* RAY MACAULEY : Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? Thechicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it, "the otherside."Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort outthis abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seeminglyharmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not befree to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
* NELSON MANDELA : Never again, will the chicken be questioned forcrossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.
* THABO MBEKI : We need to establish if really there is a connectionbetween the chicken and the road.
* ROBERT MUGABE : For all of these years the road has been owned by thewhite farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too longfor that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force withhis fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road andgiving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear ofretribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform.We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross andthe freedom to cross them.
* ISAAC NEWTON : Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a roadperpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely longstraight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to anunbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken'smotion
* MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq Ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. Wedon't even have a chicken.
* RAILA ODINGA: Had the chicken signed an MOU not to cross the road?
*MWAI EMILIO KIBAKI: Kuku ilivuka pale ikienda pale pale!igeenda wapi penngine kubaff nyinyi mafi ya kuku

Hola!

2007-07-16T14:48:00.000+03:00

A.a, everyone. It feels weird...knowing am about to put my thoughts out there for anybody to read and comment on them. should be fun, am thinking. So anyways, i was looking for a som mag, for some reason lately, i felt like i needed to belong, somewhere! then i found pace magazine, well the mags not out i guess, but i stumbled on the bloggers and i thought, good people, great writing, way cool! so here i am.